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Special Corner - Charles Lowson The Bible Story February 15, 2010
 

THE BIBLE STORY (1)
Have you ever stopped to wonder just what life is all about?
On this planet that is spinning into space
Evolution or creation, can there be some explanation
That's the problem that confronts the human race
Some folks have all the answers; there's no need to reason why
Their Bible tells them how it came about
If only you'll believe it you'll be happy by and by
But damnation is in store for those who doubt.
Now it started off in Eden when the apples were in season
And Eve she said to Adam "Have a taste"
And Adam did agree for he said "It seems to'me"
It would be a sin to let them go to.waste
But God was not amused that his trust had been abused
For he'd told them that the tree was out of bound
He said, "For this you'll die, no more mansion's in the sky"
And the snake was made to crawl along the ground
Now this was very sad for they were not really bad
And the punishment seemed cruel and out of place
But God said, "Just you wait" as he kicked them out the gate
"And that applies to all the human race!"
Now this was even worse to think up such a curse
It's no wonder "God" is treated with disdain
For if every little child is blemished and defiled
Then God is neither loving nor humane.
God said "Go forth and multiply" and showed them how twas done. It did not take them long to get it right When Eve and Adam did comply they found it lots of fun .And they copulated morning noon and night.

God said "Just take it easy"(there were more than he could count)
For many were begetting and begot
But they didn't give a stuff so he said, "I've had enough"
And decided that he'd drown the blooming lot!
Again this God relented for he had been under stress
And decided they should have another chance
So he sent a note to Noah who was drinking Coca-Cola
And told him of his project in advance
Noah thought it was a lark when God told him of the Ark
And the animals to take in two by two
Though he thought it was absurd he didn't say a word
And became the keeper of a floating Zoo
Now this tale we won't pursue for it simply is not true
A child could see it's just a silly spoof
By the time they shut the gate they all would suffocate
For there only was one window in the roof.
Now in Heaven all was not well you could say it went to Hell
And God was very lonely on his own
For since Eden and The Fall there had been no one at all
To sing him loud hosannas round the throne
God was lonely on his own and he thought he would atone
For he realised the foolish things he'd done
So to set his sinners free (though the logic I can't'see)
He would sacrifice his one and only Son
He would sacrifice his son but it seemed he'd jumped the gun
Put the cart before the horse as one would say
Though it's hard to believe a virgin must conceive
And you know that does not happen every day
Now the Maid from Galilee was the one he chose to be
The mother of this saviour so divine
But it seems the Holy Ghost just pipped him at the post
And there soon was extra washing on the line.
There were saviour Gods before perhaps fifteen or more
They were virgin born and died to save mankind
And this sacrificial theme is both savage and obscene
Unworthy of an educated mind
Surprisingly we find many educated minds
Believe the Bible factual and true
Perhaps through priestly guile they were brainwashed as a child
And that's a most pernicious thing to do.
What of Jonah and the whale a rather fishy tale
Hans Anderson has bettered it by far
And how Joshua stopped the sun till a battle had been won
Then later lit a candle from a star
And so it seems to me there are blind who will not see
Far better to observe the Golden Rule
The Atoning Son of God is a calculated fraud
The refuge of a coward and a fool.

C.P.Lowson 28/12/90.THE BIBLE STORY... (2)

There's an ancient misconception of a God up in the sky
And a bible that was written by his hand
But with stories so malicious some think it is fictitious
While others find it hard to understand
God had a chosen race that he moved from place to place
They were warring savage people just as he
With the aid of Godly favours they'd exterminate their neighbours
So they were not very popular you see
They were always on the move for their God did not approve
Of them worshipping the other Gods around
For he was not alone there were Gods in tree and stone
And wherever superstition could be found.
Now Moses was their leader he had seen God face to face
Another time God showed him his behind
Perhaps without intending he may have caught him bending
For in the Bible stranger things we find
Moses was both meek and mild and here the bible lies
For he was both malicious and depraved
The womenfolk he slew, and little children too
Young virgins were the only ones he saved
King Solomon had 700 wives, 300 concubines
He said "I don't regard it as a chore"
It also came to pass with the jawbone of an ass
Samson, slew a thousand men or more
These Jews were prone to sin which they loaded in a bin
They had a novel way this guilt to shed
To a region most remote they would lead a billy goat
A scapegoat with their sins upon it's head.
Now Christians are the same they have only changed the name
Lord Jesus is the scapegoat for their sins
If on this you will rely you'll believe that pigs can fly
Which is possible if only they had wings.
Again it seems to me and I think you must agree
That the bible is not sacred or inspired
It contains both myth and fable it deserves no fancy label
And certainly leaves much to be desired


C.P Lowson 9/l/91